Do I want to be a people pleaser?

I've been having a few conversations that go something like this:

ME : OK, you understand that there will need to be a few changes in the Church don't you?

THEY : Oh yes, I do, but I don't envy you in trying to get people to accept change

ME : How do you mean?

THEY : Well you need to try and keep everyone happy don't you?

Galatians 1.10 reminds us

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ

Like anyone, I like being popular. Or at least I don't relish being unpopular.

But if it comes down to a choice between being popular and well liked in a Church as opposed to doing the will of God, well its not really any competition is it? The truth is that we can NEVER do God's will without at least some people deciding that they don't like what's happening. And, for most people, not liking what is happening means that it gets personalized. That means they decide they don't like us. We don't seek that, and we certainly don't enjoys it.

But, frankly, it 'goes with the territory'.

My question for us all, and for myself is whether we are too concerned about being a people pleaser, or are we (am I?) totally devoted to following the will of Jesus even at personal cost?

What's in a name?

For some reason I'm really good at remembering names. That's a useful skill given that I've just taken over the leadership of a church with more than 100 people to remember!

I think its very important to really try and remember names, and it saddens me that some clergy don't make the effort. Names are incredibly significant in the Bible. Jesus' name was chosen for him before he was born, and his cousin John was specifically named John rather than Zechariah. Jesus renamed Simon as Peter ('The Rock') and Saul of Tarsus became Paul the Apostle...

And that's before we even get started on the very significant Old Testament names.

I've heard colleagues try to justify not knowing their congregations as much as a year after they arrived in the parish. To my way of thinking that just isn't good enough (Obviously if you happen to be leading a megachurch its a different matter, I'm talking about the typical Anglican Church here!)

I was thinking about how I go about remembering names. Here are my tips

• I find it easier to remember a first name and a surname as a pair. So I'll call someone 'John Smith', even to their face. People sometimes think it a bit odd that I speak about people, even to their face, by their full name - but it really helps with the memorization.
• Once I start to remember names, I get into the discipliner of scanning a room or a meeting and checking off names in my mind. Then I'll repeat (full) names in my head as I give out Communion. My aim is to get to the point where I can give everyone communion by name as quickly as possible...
• I spend a few minutes each day going through my list (Electoral Roll, Visitng List, whatever) and checking off the names of people that I can put a face to. Each day I'm adding more and more names to that list.....
• As soon as I get home from Church on Sunday lunchtime - or even in the car - I'll flip out my iPhone and scan through my membership list and mentally check off the names and faces of the people that I know.
• I motivate myself by thinking how stupid and awkward it feels to be having to ask '...and who are you again?' when I've been in the Church for months and they already told me five times. Nobody wants that embarrassment!

So, yes, I do have a good memory for names. But I also work hard at remembering.

That way I'll expect to know everyones name in my new Church in a few short weeks rather than still be fumbling over someones name in a few months!

Book Review : Introverts in the Church

Yesterday I 'fessed up to being an introvert (Myers Briggs pegs me as INTJ) so I was immediately intrigued when I saw this book on Amazon, and quickly downloaded it to my Kindle.

Gary McHugh is a somewhat reluctant pastor, an off-the-scale introvert who found his nirvana as a hospice chaplain, before reluctantly obeying the call of God and moving into pastoring a church. His writing here is absolutely stellar - tackling a much neglected topic with warmth, honesty and wit.

Given that so many people are (to varying degrees) introverts, it seems amazing that churches routinely offer up extraverted behaviour as normal, desirable and - at times - spiritually superior. McHugh uses a blend of personal anecdotes and penetrating analysis to put his finger firmly on the button of the modern churches bias towards extraversion.

He also makes a good stab at answering the hypothetical question of where Jesus was on the introversion / extraversion axis, taking a fresh look at the Gospel records through the 'lens' of modern thinking about personality 'types'. It is facinating stuff, if somewhat speculative. And it clearly shows that Jesus was the Perfect Human - a divine blend of introversion and extraversion.

Moving onto issues of leadership, McHugh argues that introverted leadership provides a necessary and complementary skill set as compared to the typical 'upfront' charismatic leader. Perhaps surprisingly quite a few well known Christian leaders are introverts - Eugene Peterson, Brian McLaren, Don Miller and Erwin McManus are amongst the examples given. Of course, the style of leadership exercised by an intraverted leader will be radically different and distinct to what is often regarded as normative.

True leaders don't lead  out of who others want them to be; therefore, introverts with character   will lead as introverts. We do not try to be extroverts or contort   ourselves in ways our personalities are not able to go. While we  seek to grow as leaders and as people, we are committed to remaining   true, because one of the greatest gifts we can offer others is  leading as ourselves.

The author goes on to talk about introverted evangelism. 'Introverted Evangelism'? Isn't that an oxymoron? Not at all, argues McHugh.

This is the single most helpful chapter in the book - and one of the best descriptions of a profoundly seeker-sensitive model for evangelism that I have ever had the pleasure to read. It really is an amazing piece of writing! After gently taking away the sense of guilt normally associated with the lack of evangelism, McHugh presents a deeply spiritually rich approach to spiritual conversation that will not only appeal to introverted leaders, but will offer real hope for connecting with introverted seekers who are 'switched off' by some forms of evangelism.

If evangelism is defined as cornering a stranger long enough to  sell our product-present the full gospel and extract a decision-then   "introverted evangelist" is destined to remain an oxymoron.  We must move away from inauthentic interpretations of this central  Christian discipline and learn how to reshape it and practice it as  ourselves. Introverted seekers need introverted evangelists. It's not that extroverts can't communicate the gospel, either verbally or nonverbally, in ways that introverts finding   appealing, it's that introverted seekers need to know and see  that it's possible to lead the Christian life as themselves. It's imperative   for them to understand that becoming a Christian is not  tantamount with becoming an extrovert.

Adam McHugh has done a huge service for the Church by not only raising this topic, but then writing about it in such a sensitive and rich way. Packed with practical wisdom, as well as disarming honesty, he is able to take everyone - whether introvert or extravert - on a journey of discovery that will surely make all of us look at leadership and pastoral ministry in a fresh light.

Highly, highly recommended for everyone in any form of church leadership. And discover more on this topic at Gary McHugh's personal site

Introverts in a church full of extraverts

Tomorrow I'm going to write a review of a book that I've just finished called Introverts in the Church: Finding our place in an extraverted culture. This tackles a very important - but rarely discussed - topic: how do intraverted people survive and thrive in a church culture which highly values and promotes extraversion?

A few years ago I took the Myers Briggs Indicator and was rather surprised to come out as INTJ. The particular surprise was around the fact that I was an Introvert. Since then I have taken a few other personality tests, and just recently re-took the Myers-Briggs test online. Invariably I come out strongly in the Introvert camp.

To some people who know me this would be a surprise, since I am animated by preaching, leading worship, innovating changes within the churches I lead and generally being upfront. But those who know me better know that I shy away from social situations, hate going to parties and find it exhausting to have to mix with people I don't know.

I'll talk more about the book tomorrow, but it tackles a massively important subject. So often in church we promote extraverted behaviour, even to the point where anything different is perceived as spiritual weakness or disobedience. Does someone who is genuinely frightened by the prospect of the weird convention that we Anglicans call 'The Peace' have something spiritually wrong with them? Of course not! It's just a trait of different God-given personalities.As Adam McHugh, the author of Introverts in the Church writes

Just as I have had a difficult time squaring my own temperament with the common roles and expectations of pastoral ministry, so also many intraverted Christians struggle with how to find balance between their natural tendencies, and the evangelical perspectives on community and evangelism. A subtle but insidious message can permeate these communities, a message that says that God is most pleased with extraversion

The Missional Church

This is a great video for anyone who has ever enjoyed the rather wonderful Common Craft videos about social media. It's a snappy and pointed look at the question 'What is missional Church'.

The Friday Five : 5 amazing books on church leadership that I read recently

I recently had the opportunity to take a mini-sabbatical from all ministry in preparation for moving into a new role. With three completely clear weeks I was able to do a lot of reading - and I decided to give a particular emphasis on leadership issues.

Here is my Friday Five list of five really great books on church leadership issues that I read in January.

1. AXIOM This is a compliation of leadership tips and principles developed by Bill Hybels via his long ministry at Willow Creek. Now, let's be fair, Willow Creek is hardly the 'typical' church, so you'd probably be thinking 'Is this stuff going to relate to me?'. I can report that the answer is a resounding 'yes'. With 75 bite-sized chapters, each on a specific 'axiom', this is not only a lively read, its also a book that is good to keep to hand to dip into.

2. HIT THE GROUND KNEELING Stephen Cottrell, the Bishop of Reading has written this handly little book (only 70+ pages) to make the point that before we charge headlong into plans, strategies and vision, we need to take a step back, think things through, and seek God's will. It's not rocket science by any means, but it's a timely and well argued book that should be read by everyone before they start a new ministry.

3. LEADERSHIP FROM THE INSIDE OUT The core message of this book is that our leadership is the outworking of our inner self. Rather than presenting leadership 'principles', Kevin Harney focuses on the character and spiritual disciplines of the leader. Based around the way that different parts of the persona (e.g eyes, mind, heart) are aligned to Christ, this is a book that is both practical and challenging.

4. OVERCOMING THE DARK SIDE OF LEADERSHIP Gary McIntosh has given Christian leaders a wonderful gift by exposing the hidden struggles of church leadership that so often end with moral failure and/or the end of a ministry. With lashings of practical wisdom, and a really helpful self-assessment tool, this is not a book that any minister is going to 'enjoy' - but it is one that definitely needs to be read

5. GROWING LEADERS With so many church leadershiup books coming from the States, it is refreshing to have an in-depth treatment from a UK perspective. James Lawrence pulls together the collected experience of the CPAS 'Arrow' programme to provide a comprehensive and insightful look at church leadership that is rooted in the real world that many of us in the UK experience on a daily basis.

What great books on church leadership should I add to this list?

When is the Church not the Church?

I was in a meeting the other day for those within our Diocese that are steering an initiative called 'Going for Growth'. Essentially its the group that is meant to be promoting mission and evangelism.

We were discussing a range of initiatives that had been used in different churches to engage with those outside the Christian community. A colleague mentioned that her Church Council had agreed to a project to reach out to their local community - and I quote - 'so long as we don't mention the name of Jesus'.

What!?!?

To my surprise, although there was a slight intake a breath, nobody seemed to be immediately ready to say anything to this (to me) incredible statement. Being a mouthy sort, I felt that I couldn't let it go - and asked her whether this was really an appropriate model for the Church to employing?

Two days later I still can't help pondering the gravity of that comment. Here we have a Christian Church effectively saying that they want to set a deliberate policy that says that they consciously refrain from even mentioning the name of Jesus.

I don't think of myself as fundamentalist or even especially conservative in the theological spectrum. But I am passionate about putting Jesus at the heart of the Church, and - by association - at the core of what it means to be a disciple or follower of God. How on earth can it be any kind of strategy for mission or growth to 'hide' Jesus in what we are trying to do as a Church?

It makes no sense to me at all

So my question is this : does a Church that doesn't want to mention or be associate with Jesus really merit being called 'church'?

A surprise. But in a good way.

I went to visit someone today who I expected to be a very traditional 'dyed-in-the-wool' Anglican, someone quite likely to be highly resistant to any talk of change or growth.

I was completely wrong to think like that.

Although this particular person was definitely at the more traditional end of the spectrum as regards worship preference, when I scratched under the surface there was a deep and profound spirituality.

Additionally, there was evidence of genuine faith, and a spiritual wisdom sharpened by having gone through considerable personal suffering whilst being bolstered by that faith.

I came away with a question.

How often to do we stereotype people into a particular type, and allow a negative presumption to blind us to what God is doing in their lives?

When God looks at us he sees the potential within us. He is able to look beyond all of our faults, failings and foibles - and see what we can become under the gentle promptings of His Spirit. We need to look at people and see people as God sees them. As Psalm 139 reminds us:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
       your works are wonderful,
       I know that full well.

 My frame was not hidden from you
       when I was made in the secret place.
       When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
       your eyes saw my unformed body.

       All the days ordained for me
       were written in your book
       before one of them came to be

Confidence in the Gospel?

Recently, I was grilling a colleague about recent growth within his Church and he used the phrase 'confidence in the Gospel' to help pinpoint why significant numbers of new people were joining.

It got me thinking about this question : Have I lost confidence in the Gospel to imapct and transform lives?

When being a church leader gets tough, and it becomes a struggle just to carry on doing even the routine stuff, it's very easy to start believing in the bad publicity that inevitably the Church attracts. We see statistics that show the Church in decline, hear about reduction in clergy numbers and about churches closing and so on - and we lose confidence in the power of the Gospel, and in the transforming power of Jesus.

The colleague I was speaking to the other day wasn't being arrogant or over confident. It was more of a quiet inner assurance that Jesus really is 'the same yesterday, today and forever'. And, whilst there are inevitably the disappointments and letdowns in ministry, there is also massive potential for fruitfulness if we can somehow recapture a confidence in the Gospel.

We were talking about this at our Mission Team last evening. How do we 'build' a confidence that people will actually come to faith and have their broken lives healed, restored and transformed by the Gospel of Christ. It's not easy when we seem to continually have 'knock backs' and disappointments!

My prayer is that, in all that I do in ministry, I may recapture a deep sense of confidence that - yes - Jesus is still changing lives today.

Book Review : Communicating for a Change

Let me ask you a question: Can you remember the last sermon that you heard? No, I don't mean 'Can you remember that you heard a sermon?' - what I'm asking is whether you can remember what it was about?

No? I thought not.

And there's the problem that we preachers face. We slave over a sermon, ploughing through commentaries, searching for relevant illustrations, and honing an eloquent and compelling homily. But, in our heart of hearts we know that many of our listeners have forgotten everything by the time they sit down for their Sunday lunch. Heck, most of them are sitting with their eyes glazed over whilst we are preaching!

Andy Stanley, the Senior Pastor of Northpoint Church, argues that a major part of this problem is information overload. We blitz people with way too much information to digest, in a format that doesn't help them to remember - and so they end up just zoning out entirely. His book 'Communicating for Change' is an attempt to get to grips with this issue. But its more than just an analysis of the problem - here is a fully developed and workable model that pastors or ministers of any sized church can apply.

What is suggested here is a 'one point sermon'. Yes, you read that correctly. Throw out the 'Here are 7 things all beginning with the letter 'C' style sermons! Build everything around the one central, core, super-important point that you want everyone to take away.

Of course, there's quite a lot more to it than that, and you'll need to read the book to really get to grips with the quite clever way that Andy Stanley builds sermons around a model of ME-YOU-GOD-YOU-WE. I've listened to a few of Andy's sermons (which despite being one-point sermons still weigh in at close on 40 minutes each time) and its really quite fascinating to see how he always moves from personal example, to the common 'problem', then addresses that with Scripture, and then brings it back to what we are going to do about it (the application!).

I've tried it myself, and I must say that it does seem to help to make the 'point' stick with people more readily. And let's be honest, we don't really see Jesus coming out with carefully crafted three point sermons with all the points beginning with 'Z' or whatever! That was a later creation of the Church, not a biblical model of 'preaching'...

A word about the style of the book. The first half of the book is set in the form of a dialogue between a frustrated pastor and an HGV goods driver (it makes sense when you read it). This introduces the seven key principles of the book, which are then 'fleshed out' and explained in the second half of the book. It's a bit of strange format, but it makes for an entertaining and stimulating read.

Here is a book packed with oodles of practical wisdom. The core message is quite 'controversial' in its own way, simply because it goes against the grain of so much contemporary preaching. But when you read the book, the case is made in such a compelling way that its hard to resist!

I think everyone who preaches would find this a highly stimulating book - paradoxically, even if you don't agree with what Andy Stanley writes...